The other day I was scrolling through social media and saw a post that went viral for good reasons. It said something about “I coached this kid for 5 years, gave my all and the parents just let me have it.” Being someone who works with over 50 soccer kids/families each week – year round, I could see how this would hurt the coaches feeling.
Youth sports is tough… So many passionate and emotional people all involved. The majority of parents don’t have a clue how challenging coaching is.
Most coaches want the best for the players, but in sports it’s impossible to make everyone happy all the time. How can we as coaches, parents and players do a better job to work together?
Putting yourself in the coaches shoes
In soccer we often forget that coaches have a lot of players to choose from.
Oftentimes players or parents are not happy because of two reasons.
- Not playing enough or not playing the position desired.
- Not playing doesn’t always mean you’re not good enough.
Sometimes it’s a situation where the coach feels you’re on the same level, but then other things come into play.
Do personalities connect, does seniority play a role, your attitude or is the coach testing your character?
Make sure whatever the case that you keep good character.
Body language is a big one.
Coaches have a hard job trying to make sure the right players are on the field at the right time.
Communication is key
Better communications will help in almost everything we do.
When it comes to player and coach communication it’s important to understand people’s personalities.
Also, knowing a professional way to ask for a meeting…
When it’s an important topic, like playing time or getting feedback players should ask the coach when they have a few minutes to talk.
Don’t ask this question so that other teammates can hear…
Tell the coach you really want to improve and get more minutes… Therefore, how do they think you can achieve these goals.
Let them know you are committed and even more important show it.
These things take time, so be patient.
“Always believe in your abilities and keep working hard.”
Want more playing time
If you want more playing time, first ask yourself if you’re doing enough on your own to improve.
It’s important that you are practicing the important things like proper technique.
When trapping and passing with the inside of the foot, most of the time you’ll keep your toes UP.
Strength training on your own will help you be a little stronger and faster plus prevent injuries… Body weight exercises are perfect… Planks, wall sits, push ups, crunches, air squats. Do this 2-3 times per week. Learn more
Attitude is another key thing… How is your body language and facial expressions?
Focus on your own work, so then you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.
If you know that the following season you will sit the bench, think about moving to a different team or club.
Why playing time is better than league status
Being patient and understanding
Understanding that everyone is different and be patient with your process.
Maybe it’s a situation where you’re not playing the position you want. Or maybe you don’t get to play many minutes.
Whether you are a starter or bench player keep working your hardest.
You never know when there will be an injury and coach needs to put you in. That is your chance to prove yourself.
If by the end of the season you’re still not getting playing time, it might be a good idea to find a new team/league.
A professional way to have good player and coach communication is to be honest and respectful.
Therefore, if you leave the team at the end of the season tell them you appreciate the teaching and opportunity.
Lead by example, even if you are younger.
Being honest about your abilities and open to criticism
It’s important to dream big, but it’s just as important to know your abilities and timeline.
Not everyone has the super natural ability to play at Stanford or North Carolina, much less pro.
This is a dangerous topic because some people do have the natural ability, but not the confidence.
Then others are too confident.
It’s important to surround yourself with people who will encourage you, but also tell you the truth.
Some kids I can see early on have the physical ability to play pro, while others I can see will struggle to even make the high school team.
Then there are those in the middle, where you just can’t tell.
They are not super athletic, but they have amazing drive and determination.
With hard work and proper training big things can happen.
Working hard to get where you want to be
Working hard means doing it all the time…
Most people work hard when they want to. For instance, when the weather is nice or when they feel good.
This means you have to choose to work hard when your mind is telling you to take it easy.
On the days that it’s freezing cold and windy or when it’s scorching hot.
Once you make the decision to choose to work hard every day, you will build lifelong habits.
Habits that will carry over to college, work, helping people.
Your choice to work hard is what will get you where you want to go.
Player and coach communication goes a lot smoother when you try your best.
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